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I have bangedThe Party Boy Rises….part 1
Sup you pocket sausage eating gaylords…..guess who is back….thats right….the slutbusting party rig of 2010 is back and boy has it been a busy time.
No I didnt die but you know what did….the brisbane party scene that shit got so overloaded with a bunch of indie rock mega poofs that it almost got to much for double fisted party behemoth like me to bare. Especially Festivals that shit has got pathetic. Plus the pills were shit. I’ve taken a dump after a future music festival that had more mdma in it then half the shit that was getting around. You can’t send a rocket ship to the moon on 2 stroke so how fuck am I supposed to send my clenched fist there on $12 carlton mids. you cant have double shots of jager and even the double blacks are only like half….and the only thing that should be single at a music festival is your fucking girlfriend and she doesnt even need to be that for party boy to run his 12 inch tilt train through that slut.
Here is a grafical representation of what I think Is happening.
It’s pretty fucking obvious why I wouldnt write about that shit. Now I could sit here and tell you about all the how I ran a tunnel longer and deeper then the clem 7 through some busted ass valley sluzzas in my time away but I thought I’d tell really been going on and how I got to this point.
Basically my mum was all up on my back about getting a job not realising that its a full time job to basically be owning brisbane and building up trapz like a fucking bullfrog.
So that bitch kicked me out and I stayed with Joey for a few weeks. Made tag teaming way easier when you were sharing a room except when I got a blozza from his sister he wasnt to keen on that so I had to do it in his dad’s study…fucking soft cock least I could check my facebook while i was doing it. anyway he ended up breaking the cardinal sin of crushin. no girlfriends so that fucking killed it for me. He might as well have cut his dick off and grown a fringe and went down to x&y to whinge about how he was dissapointed that boy and bear are a band rather then some pedo bestiality flick that all the other emos are into.
So I fucked off to the only mother fucker who has always been there for me. fuckin Tezza aka Brisbane’s number one retired DJ \ Butcher. It was sweet cause he lives in kingston all the houses out there have sheds because they are basically better then the houses and tezza’s shed was fucking perfect for me to go underground and focus on what’s really important in life. Getting massive, cycling more dbol then the tour de france and waiting for brisbane to get some decent dingers back. Im like fucking batman in that movie with that dead guy in it who plays the clown that couldnt handle his drugs.. I had to go into hiding people needed a reason to beleive that the party scene in brisbane was dead and thats because the party boy died and with it so did chicks chance of getting the full 12 inch service.
So I hid and I pumped mass kilo’s each day dreaming of a time when I would once again rise up from the side stage of futuremusic VIP style after just finishing a line of crushed up dinga’s off dj havana brown’s fucking flaps. Because we all know that;s the only reason they have female dj’s.
Sure it was tough but I had things to keep me going whilst I was taking time out of the Brisbane Scene. I would help Tezza down at his butcher shop. I figured I was pretty good at sticking my meat into bags in the valley why couldnt I do that shit at a butcher shop. Plus doing tricep extenstions with a full fucking sheep in the cold room would keep me on task. I even developed my own line of sausages the partyboy protein banger. 12 inches of minced poached chicken, Tuna and pure whey protein powder and jack3d. Tasty as fuck even though you basically have to go to hospital to have a cinder block removed from your ass it binds you up that much. So caution side effects include awesomeness but some constipation. I’m working on one loaded with pingas for like pre festival bbqs and Australia day celebrations. Sure I needed to keep the crushing up so I would just head down to Fitzy’s down at Logan to get my fix of south side sluzza. And man they should call that place Fisty’s on account of how easy it is to get elbow deep in there.
But all this shit was about to change when I got a call from Joey….
To be Continued Faggots.
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Asked by Anonymous Anonymous
Hey faggot. How's things? saw you at fitness first in the valley yesterday, stocking up the KG's for winter i see, youre a fucken disgrace you pussy, you're getting more chins than a peter north cumshot. Must be too many of those KFC double chicken Fatcunt burgers you've been gorging since your butt buddy joey left you for another fat pumping gaylord.
Here's the deal, while you've been planking on other dudes cocks, this motherfucker has been designing his own line of V-neck polo shirts, with V's so deep they're nearly inside fucking out, once festival season drops, i'll be crushing sluts hands in between my pectorals everytime one of those valleyrats tries to fondle this bronze wonder. Speaking of V's, when are you losing your's? Dude's dont count, especially when you get railed in the ass. Fag.
I've been on a hiatus, not bothering with the rubbish that you continue to serve up daily, your gay little webpages hits are falling faster than a Kangaroo Point Planker, that probably hits harder than the inches you get slapped with in the bathroom at the Fam for fluffy night. Sunday rider.
I continue to serve prime cut girth to the A Grade hussies of Brisbane, all night, every night, Macca only fucks full star, a-grade, primo sluts. From Girth till death. I'll see you round like your figure, faggochino.
MACCA
Look you fucking gingerhaired rimlicker I thought if anyone would be a fan of planking it would be your penis loving self cos seriously that shit is sucks more cocks then you and your fat sister at the races combined. Seriously they call that slut black ovaries the amount of fucking jockey sized cocks that have run first place on her. That and she is 13 from 13 weekends in a row to be the first at the fucking chemist on Sunday morning. But I shouldn’t talk to much shit about her she always drives you down to your weekly blood work exams to check if the HIV has mutated to fully blown super AIDS so lets just leave it at that.
Anyway planking is straight up the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard of and from what I can tell it’s just a bunch of poofs like yourself laying around on their stomachs waiting for you and brendan to come and do some deep dick squats straight up their poop hole. And it’s aaallll fun and games until some dumbass falls of a 7 story fucking balcony. Should of been wearing a fucking power and balance band..personally I use them as cock rings. And trust me with one of those bad boys on I could of been spinning around on my cock on the top riparian plaza busting out dumbbell flys and growling out a fucking supermodel on each full rotation with out fucking falling off.
And before you bleeding hearts start going oh too soon. Face it if it was some Asian Gaylord in china that fucking fell off while being a dumbass you same faggots who are carrying on about being insensitive would be trying to find the video of it on YouTube to laugh at it with your bum buddy in the office. Anyway fuck all that shit Ive been providing the original plank for fucking years trust me i have 12 inch plank shanked many a hussy in places so obscure you wouldn’t be able to locate that shit on google earth.
Seriously Macca I know with your little ginger ring stinger you wouldn’t under stand but let me tell you when I take my shit out to the clubs and then take some chick home trust me I bury that shit far in that when i get balls deep it looks like that sluzza has grown a tail.
Mate you can bang on about me putting on some weight during the winter but lets face Ive seen you trying to push out some reps out at the gym and you do that as well as you try and push cock out of your ass….poorly. You and half the fucking gaylords in Brisbane are lacking so much definition….julia Gillard is offering free dumbbells to every one you cunts in this years budget just to get you a little bit closer to busting out the high definition biceps that I am unloading for free on megasluts at the fucking met week in and week out. But fair play to you your fucking neck muscles look jacked must be the fact that your fellating dudes so much these days could get it up as a demonstration sport at the next Olympics.
MACCA you’ve even been designing the uniforms. V’s are fucking out bro deep circles are the latest shit going on in the fashion world that and more pockets on your shirt then a fucking fly fisherman…. … trust me come next festival season the only thing you will be dropping is to your knees to pray to the one true brisbane fashion guru„„the party boy trust me when I land on the fucking cat walk people are expecting the a380 super jumbo. When you land on the catwalk its gonna be like planker who cant keep their balance..
Face it you have been blowing all the cops in Brisbane so long to even know what fashion is getting sluts wetter then a house at goodna. And now I know why when I go out in Brisbane at the moment its way shitter then usual. I reckon your behind this shit -
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/8249336/police-nab-hundreds-in-qld-unite-blitz
Apparently as part of this Operation Unite the coppers are out in force trying to stop us fucking dudes that just wanna smash a shit load of dingas, wash down with about 30 double blacks then hit the valley to get some fights bash up some softcocks like yourself before we hit The Bank to make a deposit into some little valleyslapper’s flesh vault. Fuck they even clamping down on joey chucking a hectic pill shit out in the fucking night bus on the way home….and seriously when your as big a fucking unit as we are your fucking smashing a 30 pack of weetbix every morning so my shits so got so much fucking fibre you could insulate your fucking roof with it. You know what they think they can make make the valley a place where people feel safe walking around being regular skinny softcocks who’s idea of getting pumped is man sandwhich in the beat toilet blocks.
Well it stops now. This week Im starting fucking Operation UNIT. Fuck it I don’t even have to come up with shirts cos the real rigs already have about 70 Unit shirts…all in black. Basically Operation Unit is a bunch of super sick party rigs getting together smashing out some one reps maximums and deadlifting fucking citycats in between jet ski preacher curls then hitting the valley to get so loose it will make your asshole look like the virgin marys….fuck who am I kidding your shits so loose you keep a basketball in their just to keep your colon from hit the ground everytime you attempt a chin up…….at least it matches your orange pubes….
So make sure you get to the wickham early bro cos you wont want to be on the streets. By the way I love Brendan and your facebook profile pic as well. It really is true love…
#planking is for softcocks check out #hutching http://t.co/lBtrWAB
Little known fact: Michael Hutchence was the first Australian to die #planking…….oh shit thats wrong….he died wanking….
Shit coming up…mad dj’s
Sup Osama bin gaylords.
Get your shit together fuckheads cos the sickest DJ ever is going to hit the fucking met on the 27th…my favourite dj ever…ministry of sound….i love that cunt and i have downloaded all his shit off limewire…but fuck knows how I am gonna download that shit now cos apparently some prick forgot to turn it on and now i cant access it….hopefully its not the same cunt that runs redtube. Anyway Ministry of Sound is fucking sick. If I let anyone fuck my mum it would be that guy actually I wouldn’t let him fuck my mum she is a bitch….and pretty ugly too..and cos he is a dj and they are the sickest dudes on the earth besides me and joey he is for sure only tapping 11 out of 10 super sluzzas…except djs who fucking do dubstep…that shit is fucking shit…if i want to hear squealing noises over loud thumps ill just tape record the sound of my balls smacking on some chicks ass so hard its turning sluzzas pubic bone into diamonds..imagine that a fucking having a grill for your vag…im prettysure those supafest softcocks would probably be up for that shit…Oh yeah fucking Ministry of Sound….mad dog…I heard he even owns sweet clubs in like ibeeza and london which apparently are somewhere overseas fuck that tho why would I go there when everything i need is in brisbane….if you have to go further then noosa to do something it aint worth doing. specially if i cant drive my skyline there. if i want to bang overseas sluzzas ill head to downunder bar or birdies….anyway me and the boys are getting amped up for the met. sammy who is a sly cunt but still me mate is one twisted fucker i mean the other weekend we hit our usual quadruple drop before we headed in but sammy not only drops he also shelves 4 no doz plus at the same time cause he reckons it gets it buzzing harder then your mums dildo. i dont reckon its that smart cos i remember one time he got so fucking of his doz he shit himself in one of the booths at family…fucking mad cunt tho.
anyway you faggots should def hit that shit up. no fucking soft cock excuses that its too cold or your girlfriend wants you to stay home and watch fucking princess diaries.
crush on
stole this of some sluzza on facebook…..but fuck man im gonna see if i can get dingaz for my skyline either that or FSTPMP or RIPDAZ
50 Drinxxx
"Drinxxx are on da Howzzz"
This is a mad fucking song…from some brisbane dude who’s dick is probably about as half as long as mine which still means its a weapon of mass destruction…
I did about 7000 push ups to this shit on loop before hitting creamfields and hosing out some fucking megasluts and then punching holes in the roof whilst punching jagerbombs with the djs at the fucking birdees after party. apparently that party huss bag was there too blowing martin smalldik in the toilets.
Anyway this dudes name is 50 Drinxxx and you cunts should get on it and spread it round to other gaylords who need a banging song to try and do some dumbell flys too.
Click here to download it and check out his page and shit and vote for him on triplej or some bullshit.
Check it gaylords
Asked by Anonymous Anonymous
What is the best sexual experiance you've ever had?
I dont have best sexual experiences….i give them…no chicks ever been able to take the full length of the god rod not even the biggest stone cold sluzza
Asked by Anonymous Anonymous
You say you u got a 12inch cane? whats the smallest u've seen?
I dont check out other dudes dicks but if I did probably yours.
